Recently I considered joining the gym. This is all due to the obvious reasons. You know, running out of breath when you bend over to pick up something you dropped. Avoiding pictures, or looking at pictures of u in it while fat. The lovely comments... Oh, the comments, especially from family and old friends. "Wow! you look great!" (with a confused look on the face like if crying out DAMN!). Or the family (mom especially) You need to get your ass in shape. Loose all that weight, you are too fat. Stop eating all that crap, that’s why u so fat. Don't eat that, you're fat. Have you lost any weight? Or the sarcastic, "Oh! you look thinner!!!" (my step father and his funny self).
While I don't let this stuff get to me. The running out of breath part, and my daughter asking what happened to me after seeing my old pictures, kinda did the trick.
So, here’s what I’ve come up with.
Get more active, increase resistance
Contract for a whole freaking year!!
Get in shape (other than round)
Attack on my pocket on a monthly basis
Increase metabolic functions and exercise the heart.
(Stuck and can’t get out of this contract, if I ever try)
Increase Libido, more activity equals a Happy Husband
Expectations of my sexual prowess will be through the roof!!! Since I had my daughter, my freak got lost, and I still can’t find her.
Loose all the extra weight that has been weighing me down the last few years
Will be tired and sore the first few days (actually weeks)
My jeans will fit better
No Cons - Get rid of the front pouch. I’m not a kangaroo.
Savings - Jeans will also last longer (no more holes on the inner thigh)
No cons in that matter. Thunder Thighs is a pain in the ass. Literally.
My local Gym is Open 24 Hours, so when I wake up at night cause I can’t sleep, I can go work out.
Yeah right. I think I might hit the fridge faster that the gym at 3 AM. But I promise I will try to not do that.
If there is a situation or emergency, I can run fast, because I’ll be in better shape.
Running while fat is not attractive. (Note to self: Invest money in good strong bras and industrial girdle to avoid getting hit in face in case of need to run fast.)
Access to the pool all year round. Indoor and Outdoor Pools.
Possibility of ear infection. (now I’m being pessimistic, I haven’t had an ear infection since I was 13, and I LOVE THE POOL)
Access to all kinds of excellent gym equipment.
Possibility of busting my ass on one of the machines. And since they make you sign a form to free the gym of any responsibility if you get hurt on the premises. I can’t sue If I bust my ass.
Then again, I’m a bit clumsy, but not to the extent of tripping on my own two feet. DAG!!!
I will be able to wear a bikini once I reach My goal.
Ok, ok. I will be able to wear a two piece once I reach my goal.
Maybe. We'll see.
I will feel so much more better about my self
True that… No con there!
Skin will look healthier and better with access to the sauna and steam rooms.
No Con - Yeyy! No more need for facials. White heads and black heads look soo bad. Especially under make up. And they hurt like crazy when you squeeze em out too.
Access to all kinds of aerobic classes w membership. Including ZUMBA Monday thru Saturday.
Become embarrassed first time around with my lack of coordination and tripping all over the place, late at all the moves...
Just kidding. I’m an ok (good) dancer. I can keep up.. lol!
Actually No con – Only that I have to make sure I go to the classes, especially ZUMBA and Aquarobics.
That’s it for now. I’ll post a part two once I come up with more stuff.
On the realz…. I already joined. I bit the bullet. I actually came up with this post while suffocating on the treadmill.
I budgeted the twinkies, cheese puffs, the soda and all other goodies and fast food out of my expenses, and used that money to pay for the membership.
Lets hope I don’t go over budget in a munchies crisis. Wait… oh right. I don’t get those anymore. Ok, scratch that last one.
P.s. If you expected proper grammar in this post. Sorry to disappoint you. I’m in a good mood. Don’t ruin it.